


Eurovision Adventure

by Dansevise (SamoShampioni)



Category: Eurovision Song Contest RPF, Music RPF
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2009-05-19
Updated: 2009-05-19
Packaged: 2017-12-12 08:27:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/809452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamoShampioni/pseuds/Dansevise
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A story about the 2012 Eurovision Song Contest</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Beginning

Chapter 1 - The Beginning

It was the Eurovision Song Contest draw. Today was a big day for fans and participants of Europe's most popular song contest. Some of the entrants were there already, waiting patiently for the draw to take place, as fans cheered outside, waving flags. But, not all Eurovision fans are welcomed here... for Europe has a dark secret.  
\---  
-3rd Human-Monster war-  
The humans, in all their armour, approached the defeated monster army. Tanks rolled over the nearby monster villages.  
"Ahahahaha," laughed one knight on his horse, "We have them outnumbered and surrounded!"  
"This is it then," the other soldier chimed in, "The final battle... we win..."  
The monsters raised their hands in surrender.  
"Good," a knight said, as the humans prepared their weapons, "Come on then, let's finish this..."  
"Wait... what?!" a dragon yelled, "No! We surrender!"  
"No," the knight replied, "We can't trust any of you. Come on guys, let's finish this."  
\---  
The aftermath of the 3rd human-monster war had left the monsters totally and completely defeated. Monsters were then excluded from human society, and not allowed to participate in any human activities, especially not the Eurovision Song Contest.  
\---  
At that moment, the draw of the Eurovision Song Contest fell silent, the entrants looking on in shock as a monster entered the room, singing Eurovision songs.  
"Hello, Eurovision people!" the monster yelled gleefully, "I'm your biggest fan! I love the Eurovision! Hey, would you guys mind signing a few autographs for me?"  
The police rushed into the room to protect the Eurovision entrants from what they saw as a threat to the whole contest.  
"Stop right there, monster!" one officer said, "We are the police! We are here to stop you!"  
"But... but..."  
"No buts! You monsters know that you are not allowed on these premises... and not allowed anywhere near the Eurovision! Now get out! Get out of here now!"  
The officers came closer to the monster.  
"But, but the Eurovision!" the monster stammered.  
"The Eurovision Song Contest is off limits to monsters like you! Now get out!"  
And with that the monster ran off, as the entrants looked on.  
\---  
22nd May 2012  
A very important day... all of Europe is eagerly waiting for the first semi-final of the Eurovision Song Contest.  
\---  
Engelbert Humperdinck walked along the grassy field, looking for where Baku's famous Crystal Hall could be.  
"Hello there, welcome to Azerbaijan!" a woman yelled to him.  
A blue slime approached him.  
"They say Azerbaijan has a slime infestation... but we say you have a people infestation!" Typical monster attitude.  
One sign read 'This way to the Crystal Hall Arena, Baku!' but appeared to point to yet another grassy field. Engelbert sighed and continued on his way.  
All the houses were locked as he looked for someone to point him in the direction of the arena.  
"This is Azerbaijan!" came a shout from the distancde, "We are the greatest country of all time!"  
"Oh hey!" a boy ran over to him, "You probably want to be getting to the Crystal Hall arena! It's just above here!"  
"Thanks," Engelbert said, and set off, before being interrupted by two noisy Irishmen.  
"Hi, I'm John, he's Edward, and together we are... JEDWARD!!!"  
"Jedward power!" Edward yelled, "We are so gonna win this!"  
"A little modesty wouldn't hurt you two, ya know?" Engelbert replied.  
"Hey, good luck in the Eurovision!" said a man wearing a sparkly costume, as a green slime approached Engelbert.  
"So, people say slimes don't watch the Eurovision," the green slime whispered, "But it's a lie, we all love watching it! Good luck!" And with that the slime started to sing 'Euphoria'.  
Engelbert then walked into an area that had a sea of Dutch flags. For a country that didn't do particularly well at the contest, it sure was popular there.  
Lenny Kuhr was standing there holding a Dutch flag, and seemed quite annoyed.  
"Eight years! It's been eight years since we've last qualified!" she was muttering to herself.  
"How annoying, we got last place last year! But hopefully Joan Franka can do better..."  
"If we don't qualify this year we might even overtake Norway as the lowest point scorers ever! And that stinks!"  
"Surely we've got to win sooner or later..."  
It seemed that the Dutch wanted to dump all their Eurovision woes onto Engelbert.  
"Yes yes well," Engelbert tried to leave the area but was stopped by Sieneke.  
"Oh, hey Engelbert!" Sieneke smiled, "We're very annoyed right now, because the Netherlands hasn't qualified from the semi finals since 2004! But we've been with Joan Franka to make sure she qualifies! Hey, could you go into the Eurovision building for us and tell her that she better qualify?"  
"Uh, sure," this was his chance to slip away from the Dutch.  
He saw Anri standing by a huge signpost promoting the first semi final of the Eurovision Song Contest.  
"Oh, hey there Engelbert," the Georgian said, "The semi final is starting soon!"  
And then, he saw it. Surrounded by rows of flower, Baku's Crystal Hall. Entering the stadium, he saw many other Eurovision entrants already there. Some of them were signing a book that was full of autographs. Brightly coloured costumes were hanging on the walls. But there were also suits of armour. A throwback to the wars with the monsters. But that didn't seem to bother the Eurovision entrants one bit.  
Valentina Monetta was checking her phone. "Goodness me!" she yelled, "I was just on Facebook, can you believe they're making everyone switch over to Timeline?! Disgraceful!"  
"Eurovision's gonna be great this year! I can feel it!" Zeljko said.  
"I'm Swedish and Finnish," Pernilla Karlsson announced for no particular reason, "So it's the best of both!"  
Gaitana approached Engelbert.  
"Oh hey Engelbert!" the Ukrainian smiled, "Good luck in the Eurovision!"  
"You too!" Engelbert replied, and with that she walked off, singing.  
Engelbert then walked into the Eurovision greenroom.  
\---  
Flowers flooded the room and golden statues dedicated to Azerbaijan were everywhere. The other thing about the green room was that it literally was a green room. The floor and the walls were green.  
"Hey Engelbert!" Loreen yelled as he walked into the room, "You better get ready for the best Eurovision ever!!!"  
"Oh, the first semi final is so soon!" Anmary said, "I'm so exited!"  
"I'll tell you something," Rona Nishliu said, "Eurovision never used to be such a big event..."  
And that was true, it hadn't been. But the wars between the humans and the monsters meant that Europe was overflowing with patriotism, and now the song contest was taken extremely seriously.  
"Eurovision is the greatest show of all time!" Kaliopi yelled as she jumped around the room.  
"A-ha, get it?" Rambo Amadeus said as Engelbert walked past, "It's the green room, so they made it green! Ahahahahaha!"  
There was no reply.  
"You are just no fun!" Rambo said, walking off.  
Iris looked out of the window and saw green and blue slimes crawling all over the fields of Baku.  
"In Belgium we don't have all these slimes hanging around!" Iris said, "It would be better if they cleaned up around here!"  
"Iceland is clearly the best!" Jonsi said, "Even the blue slimes can't take us down now!"  
"Iceland is so gonna win this!" Greta Salome agreed. It seemed everyone was optimistic about their own countries chances, and everyone was super exited for the Eurovision Song Contest.  
\---  
Engelbert was now standing in the audience, awaiting the first semi final. Fans waved flags and cheered as the three hosts walked out onto the stage.  
"Hello everyone!" Ell said, "And welcome to Eurovision 2012, here in Azerbaijan!"  
"Tonight is the first semi final!" Nargiz said.  
"18 countries will compete tonight!" Leyla continued. It sure was confusing having three hosts. "For a place in the Eurovision grand final!"  
"So then," Ell said, "Let's begin with Europe's favourite TV show!"  
Just then, the lights dimmed. People wondered if it was part of an act. It wasn't. A flash of light struck the three hosts and they all fell to the floor.  
"What the hell was that?!" Engelbert yelled.  
Suddenly, purple light flooded the arena, and, when it disappeared, there were slimes and dragons and every other kind of monster standing there. The entrants gasped when they saw the monster in the middle. It was the Eurovision fan who had been thrown out of the allocation draw.  
"No, let's not begin..." the monster said, "Europe's favourite TV show... a-ha! They do not ask what us, the magical creatures of Europe think. They even dare to call us monsters. You Eurovision people didn't want me as a fan! From now on you will have me as your enemy! So you humans can consider your moronic 'Eurovision' contest cancelled! Permanently!"  
Another flash of light flooded the arena and the Eurovision entrants disappeared.  
\---  
Meanwhile, a meeting of monsters was taking place. Rain fell across the dark forest, and skeletons stood in a circle, discussing the monster attack on the Eurovision. Just then, a red monster walked into the meeting.  
"There... it is done..." the monster laughed, "We are yet another step closer to victory..."  
\---


	2. The Windmill Village

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Greta and Jonsi arrive at the Windmill Village

Chapter 2 - The Windmill Village

The two Icelandics woke up in a grassy field, surrounded by plants.  
"What happened?!" Jonsi tried to remember, "The monsters attacked and then... and just where the hell are we anyway?"  
"Well," Greta said, "There's only one way to find out! And that's to get back to the Eurovision! I can just see it now... 'Iceland saved Eurovision'. Yeah!"  
"Yes! That's a great idea!" Jonsi said, "Then everyone will vote for us and we'll win Eurovision for sure!"  
A sign read 'This way to Windmill Village'.  
'Welcome to Windmill Village' another sign read, 'Enjoy your stay!'  
Windmill Village, they'd never heard of it before. Was it anywhere near Baku?  
\---  
They walked past rows and rows of dainty little cottages, birds and butterflies flying all around them.  
"Why is it called Windmill Village," Greta said as the two of them approached a house with an open door, "I haven't seen a windmill!"  
On entering the house a girl ran over to them, a dog and cat following here. Bookcases were filled with books on the Eurovision. It was a fan's house!  
"Oh, hello there!" she said, "We saw what happened on the Eurovision... we are very sad about it. We hope you two can fix it..."  
\---  
"Oh, hey there," a man said, "Huh... I remember you two! The Icelandic entrants... right? Ah, good old Eurovision! I knew those horrid monsters would never be able to take you down..."  
Next they walked into a knights house. His house was filled with shields, armour, and war medals.   
"Oh, hello there!" the knight smiled, "I'm a knight, you know. So I wouldn't usually just let people walk into my house... but for Eurovision entrants... eh... I'll let this one go."  
\---  
"Oh, hey there, haven't seen you two around before! Welcome to Windmill Village!"  
"Hahahaha," laughed a woman beside him, dressed in sparkly clothes, "Greetings Eurovision entrants, I am the princess of Windmill Village! The problems in the Eurovision... I think our village could help you... yes, you two should see the mayor... he's somewhere around here... you should try his house! But don't forget to have a look at our beautiful village first!"  
\---  
"Hahahahaha," the bartender laughed as the two Icelandics walked into the pub, "Business has been very good here lately... I can only guess that people drink because they are worried about the monsters..."  
\---  
"Phew," Jonsi said, "I'm beat, let's go to the inn over there!"  
They walked into the inn first, it made sense to stay there, after all, they had a big Eurovision adventure ahead of them.  
"You must have heard about what went on too, right?" said a man standing by a clock, "Arrgh, all thanks to those no-good monsters we have lost an opportunity to showcase Azerbaijan to the world!"  
"Eurovision may have been stopped but we'll defeat those evil monsters! And then we'll bring back the contest!" a girl yelled from another room.  
The innkeeper accepted them and with that, Greta and Jonsi walked up to their room.  
"Hey, I heard about what happened in the Eurovision... terrible news, isn't it?"  
"We were in the Eurovision!" Greta said, "The monsters did something weird and we ended up here!"  
"Hmm... you should see the mayor of our city... he might be able to help you."  
"Great, thanks!" Jonsi replied, "We'll go and see him!"  
All signs seemed to point to this mayor.  
\---  
The mayor's house was the biggest and tallest house in the whole city. You couldn't miss it. On approaching, an old woman walked out and stopped them.  
"This is the way to the mayor's house!" she said, "Only go there if you have something important to discuss!"  
"Don't worry," Greta replied, "We do!"  
\---  
Greta and Jonsi walked into the mayor's house, and a letter on the desk caught their attention.  
The letter read; 'Sadly, the Eurovision has been cancelled... anyone who can help bring it back on track, contact me. Signed, the Mayor.'  
The receptionist at the desk saw them looking down at the piece of paper.  
"You too looking for the mayor?" the receptionist said, "It better be for something important!"  
"Yes!" Jonsi said, "It's to do with the monsters that attacked the Eurovision semi final!"  
"Ah, well, that is important! He's upstairs... doing... something or other..."  
"Hello, I'm the mayor's cleaner," a woman with pink hair said, leading the two Icelandics upstairs, "It's great to work for our beloved mayor!"  
On arriving upstairs, Greta and Jonsi saw the mayor of the city sitting in a room with Rambo Amadeus. So he had been teleported here too... It seemed he was singing for the mayor.  
"Euro Neuro... Euro Neuro... I got no ambition, for high position, in competition, with the air condition..."  
"Very, very good!" the mayor clapped, "Ah, it's like having Eurovision in my own home!"  
"Excuse me," Greta interrupted, "Are you the mayor?"  
The mayor and Rambo turned around, they hadn't seen the two Icelandics enter the room.  
"Oh my!" the mayor beamed, "And the Icelandics have come to join us as well! Did you invite them, Rambo?"  
"Uh, no..." Rambo replied.  
"Rambo!" Jonsi said, "What are you doing goofing off when there has been a serious attack on the Eurovision?"  
"Oh come on guys," Rambo said, "It's just a bit of fun!"  
"There's nothing fun about monsters attacking the Eurovision!" Greta said.  
"What happened to you anyway?" Jonsi said, "We ended up here after the monsters attacked."  
"Well," Rambo said, "That monster lit a bright light, and then, I ended up here for some reason..."  
"Hmm... I guess it must have been something to do with the monsters' bright light..." the mayor added unhelpfully, "Well then, I must let you all go! You have important duties to do, like saving the Eurovision Song Contest!"  
"Nooo..." Rambo said.  
"Yes!" the mayor said, "Now, off you go!"  
And with that the three Eurovision entrants set off.  
\---  
Meanwhile, another monster meeting was taking place. The ex-Eurovision fan was meeting with the red monster.  
"What do you mean it backfired?!" the red monster yelled angrily.  
"Uh... uh... it just sort of happened! The teleport beam must have come out wrong!"  
"And now we have no idea where those pesky Eurovision entrants are! They could be anywhere! This is sending out the wrong message! Instead of striking fear, we have shown that we are stupid and incompetent!"  
"S... sorry master..."  
"No apologies! Just find those Eurovision entrants! NOW!"


	3. Fireball City

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Greta, Jonsi and Rambo arrive in Fireball City...

Chapter 3 - The Fireball City  
The three Eurovision entrants came to a dusty path and a bridge that lead over a river.  
"So, where are we now?" Greta asked.  
"This is Fireball City," Rambo said, "One of the most famous cities of Azerbaijan."  
"Good," Jonsi replied, "Maybe the mayor here can help us..."  
On approaching the bridge a knight walked over to them.  
"Greetings fellow citizens!" a knight bowed to them as they entered the city, "I am a defender of the realm, we are here to guard Azerbaijan against the evil monsters!"  
Of course, as the three Eurovision entrants weren't monsters, they were allowed to enter the city. Walking in to the city they saw that it was plain and uninteresting. People all around them complained about the cancellation of Eurovision and also of the recent monster attacks across Azerbaijan.  
Walking in to the armour shop, the three of them looked at the weapons on display. It was all a little overpriced for them, so they stocked up on phoenix downs and potions instead. A girl who seemed to be having trouble choosing between two pieces of armour was standing there.  
"Hmm, I like this set of armour, but I also like this one... what to choose, what to choose," she mumbled to herself, but jumped up in shock when she saw the three Eurovision entrants standing there in the shop too.  
"Arrgh!" she yelled, "I was all ready to watch the Eurovision... and then it was cancelled! I can't believe this!"  
"We know," Jonsi said, "We're going to do something about it."  
"Those monsters will never get away with what they did to the Eurovision!" Greta added.  
"Nah, Eurovision's overrated," came a voice from the corner, "I was on Eurovision once, and I tell you what, I got last place!"  
Intars Busulis. The Latvian was very annoyed with his place in the contest, and had been watching the events at the semi final unfold on a TV in the corner.  
"Hey," Rambo said, "If you're not gonna aim for the first place, you might as well aim for the last place. Everyone forgets the ones in the middle, they're the boring ones!"  
"Oh ho ho!" a man dressed as Santa said, "It's a shame, people don't want Santa in May! But then, when it's December again, you all come crawling back! Every time!"  
"Poor Santa..." a girl dressed as an elf said, "He's upset because it's not December... but May brings a lot of good things... like the Eurovision! Well, until the monsters ruined that too..."  
"Don't worry!" Greta smiled, "We're going to bring it back!"  
Walking out of the shop, it seemed that the villagers were taking a special interest in the Eurovision entrants.  
"Oh hey," a man said as they walked past them, "I guess you're all looking for the other Eurovision entrant who was running around outside..."  
"Other... Eurovision entrant?!" Greta asked.  
"Yes, we saw another," came the reply, "Claimed she was something or other... oh well, don't just stand there! Get a move on!"  
"Why are people always telling us to do stuff?!" Rambo complained.  
"Hey there! Eurovision... huh," another villager said, walking over to them, "You should all try going outside the city, I heard there's another one from the contest running around there..."  
"Yeah, we got that, thanks," Rambo said, rolling his eyes. More villagers came up to them, also telling them this news. All these villagers knew, and yet no one actually had stopped the mysterious entrant from going into the cave.  
"Eurovision...? Then you'd probably want to know that another Euro entrant was running around this city... I think they ran straight out of the city into the cave..." a villager said, before adding hesistantly, "But I wouldn't recommend that... the cave is a dangerous place."  
\---  
But there was just one thing. They didn't know exactly where this cave was. They decided to go to the mayor's house first. A jukebox in the corner was playing Eurovision songs.  
"Hello there... I am the mayor of this city..." the mayor said, smiling at them.  
"Hey," Jonsi said, "We're from the Eurovision! Can you help us?"  
"Eurovision, you say... yes, I can help you... there's a path that leads out of this city and to a cave. One of your friends decided to run right past this city, and into the cave. Silly girl, doesn't she know there are monsters in there?!"  
"Oh dear!" Greta said, "Don't worry, we'll go and get them straight away!"  
"Aw," Rambo said, "Do we have to?"  
"Yes!" Greta snapped, "Now come on, let's go!"  
The mayor lead them to a long and winding path.  
"This is as far as I go," the mayor said, "You're on your own from here."  
And with that the mayor slipped off, back into the city.  
"What?!" Rambo yelled, "He just left us?!"  
"Come on Rambo," Jonsi said, "Let's go already."  
The three Eurovision entrants soon came to the cave in question.  
'Warning!' read a large sign, 'Lava Cave ahead!'  
"L...Lava cave?! Maybe... maybe we should listen to this warning," Rambo said, as the two Icelandics pulled him inside the cave.  
Walking along the rest path, they saw the bright lights of lava in the distance. The three of them kept moving along in the cave, expecting to see the mysterious Eurovision entrant they had heard about, but there was no sign of her. They could just make out the sign of some sort of plant-like creature in the distance. They kept going closer to the monster.  
"Hahahahaha," came a voice from a plant-like creature in the distance, "We finally have you! The bunny warrior... master will be most pleased..."  
They kept on going still, until eventually they came across some plant-like monsters and some slimes attacking a bunny warrior. Bunny warriors were part-human part-rabbits, who, infused with the best of rabbit DNA, protected the humans from the monster aggressors. They could be told apart from other people by their bunny ears and tail. And there was one bunny warrior who was on the Eurovision this year.  
"Kaliopi!" Greta yelled, but she was too far away to hear them. The three Eurovision entrants ran closer and closer to the scene of the attack.  
"Get away from me you monsters!" Kaliopi yelled, struggling to get free.  
"No point trying to escape," the plant hissed, "We have put a stop to this vile display of so-called 'music'."  
"Yes," a slime laughed, "There's no getting away from us now... we'll end your pathetic contest permanently!"  
"Kaliopi!" Greta yelled again.  
The monsters spun around.  
"Ahahahaha," the slime merely laughed, "Yet more Eurovision entrants! Oh, what a perfect day... you've come just to the right place... hahahaha!"  
And with that the monsters attacked the four Eurovision entrants. It was time to put their magic skills to good use, as they fought back and attacked the monsters. When it was four against one Kaliopi had no chance, but now it was a different story as she used her bunny warrior magic to blast at the monsters. Soon enough, the monsters teleported away, leaving the four Eurovision entrants standing there, victorious.  
"Hey, we did it!!!" Rambo yelled, shocked.  
"That's great!" Jonsi said sarcastically, "Now there's only another 40 or so entrants to find..."  
"Oh, quit being so negative!" Greta snapped.  
"Come on you guys," Kaliopi said, calming down the situation, "Let's get out of here before more monsters come."  
"No way! We're not going back there!" Kaliopi said as the other three looked back at the stairs that lead to the city. Going closer they saw why, monsters were there already. They had to go deeper into the cave.  
The four of them walked to the path and eventually walked out of the cave and into a clearing. But there they saw many monsters, standing in front of a lake. They spun around and saw the four Eurovision entrants standing there.  
"You see master, I told you they'd come here!" the hooded monster grinned.  
"Yes yes, very good, very good..." a red monster replied.  
"What the hell?!" Kaliopi yelled.  
"Oh, Kaliopi," the monster replied, "You think we'd just send four monsters after you? A bunny warrior? Not a chance! We've sent all our monsters to collect your Euro filth!"  
"Quick!" Greta yelled, "Let's get out of here!"  
The four Eurovision entrants ran back the way they came, but the path was now blocked by a huge blue monster.  
"What the hell is that?" Jonsi yelled as the monster roared.  
"Ahahahahaha!" the other monsters walked onto the path too, "You didn't think we'd let you get away, did you? Monster, attack!"  
The blue monster turned and blasted a tidal wave at the four Eurovision entrants, knocking them all to the floor.  
The monster laughed.  
"Hahahahaha, how pathetic... like all Eurovision entrants..."  
The last thing the four of them saw was a flash of bright light.  
\---  
It was Rambo who woke up first.  
"Hey guys," he said, "Get up. Now."  
They certainly were in a strange place. The four of them looked around, there were boxes everywhere, water dripping from the ceiling, and most importantly, bars on the windows. They were in jail.  
"No!" Greta yelled.  
"What the hell?!" Rambo said, rather annoyed, "We're in jail? For what?"  
"For being in the Eurovision! Don't you all get it already? The monsters have been trying to shut down Eurovision for years... and now they have finally succeeded..."  
"Then," Jonsi said, "There is nothing that can be done..."  
"You lot are all so defeatist!" Greta yelled, "There is plenty that can be done! You'll see!"  
But there didn't seem to be a lot they could do for the contest. Not here. Not now.


	4. The Last Waltz

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter introducing the new city, Cherry Blossom Village.

Engelbert woke up in the middle of a forest. Trees were all around, as butterflies flew about and birds sang in the trees.  
"Huh... just what the hell is this place?" Engelbert said.  
The Brit walked through the forest, eventually coming to a clearing where he saw the Serbian Zeljko Joksimovic also standing there, looking down at a puddle. The Serbian turned round.  
"Engelbert?!" Zeljko said, shocked and relieved, "What are you doing here?"  
"I have no idea," the Brit replied, "I was about to ask you the same question!"  
"This is Cherry Blossom Village..." Zeljko explained, "It's nowhere near Baku!"  
"It all looks the same to me mate," Engelbert smirked.  
Well, it would help them to have someone who knew the area a little.  
"I just don't understand how we could go from being in the Eurovision stadium to being here!" Zeljko continued, looking around at the forest.  
"Then we better go to the village and see if they know what's going on..."  
"I've already looked," the Serbian replied, "The village seemed pretty empty from what I saw..."  
"You just weren't looking hard enough, probably," came the reply.  
"Maybe..." Zeljko said, "I've heard that Cherry Blossom Village is never empty!"  
"Come on then, let's go and see if we can find anyone."  
And with that the two of them walked into the village. Cherry Blossom Village.


End file.
